Compulsive Sexual Behaviours in Neurodivergent Adults and Children: Looking Beneath the Surface.

When people hear “compulsive sexual behaviour,” their minds often jump to addiction or dangerous intent. In neurodivergent communities—autism, ADHD, and related conditions—this assumption not only misses the mark, it causes harm. Behaviours that look sexual can serve very different functions in both children and adults. Without that understanding, people risk being labelled deviant when they’re actually trying to regulate, communicate, or simply cope.

How it shows up in children

Children learn about bodies and sexuality through education, modelling, and exploration. But for autistic and ADHD kids, the learning process is often delayed, patchy, or literal. This means sexual behaviours may pop up in ways that alarm adults, even when the intent is far from sexual.

• Vocal stimming and scripting: A child might repeat a sexual word or phrase they’ve overheard—not to sexualise others, but because it has become part of their regulation routine or “loop.”

• Blurting sexual comments: With ADHD, impulse control can be weak. Comments tumble out before the brain can pause. What sounds like harassment is often an impulse paired with curiosity.

• Touching/masturbation in public: For some kids, this is about sensory soothing or overwhelm. They haven’t yet absorbed the rules of “public vs. private,” so education—not punishment—is needed.

When misunderstood, these children are at risk of being excluded, shamed, or even criminalised. The damage this does to their self-image and social development can be profound.

How it shows up in adults

By adulthood, many neurodivergent people have carried years of shame around behaviours that weren’t understood in childhood. The patterns often persist, but the stakes are higher.

• Repetitive porn use or masturbation: Can function like stimming—predictable, regulating, numbing. It only crosses into compulsive sexual behaviour disorder (CSBD) when there’s a repeated loss of control, ongoing distress, and impairment in daily life.

• Blurting inappropriate comments: In workplaces or relationships, impulsive comments can create misunderstanding and stigma. Adults often describe deep shame afterwards, saying, “I don’t know why I said that.”

• Hypersexual behaviour in ADHD: Adults with ADHD may cycle between periods of impulsive sexual activity and regret, especially when emotional dysregulation or mood instability is present.

• Autistic adults and scripting: Just as in childhood, echolalia or scripting can include sexualised language. Without context, others misinterpret it as harassment, when it’s often repetition without intent.

What both groups have in common

Whether in children or adults, the underlying drivers are similar:

• Regulation: Using sexual behaviour as a way to soothe, focus, or cope with stress.

• Impulsivity: Acting or speaking without filtering.

• Communication gaps: Literal questions or scripts mistaken for sexual intent.

• Shame loops: Feeling “bad” or “broken” because behaviours were misinterpreted.

  
  

Rethinking the response

For both adults and children, the key is shifting from moral judgement to functional understanding.

• Ask: What job is this behaviour doing for the nervous system?

• Teach: Clear, concrete rules around public/private, consent, and body safety.

• Support: Offer alternative regulation strategies and impulse-control tools.

• Reduce shame: Separate the behaviour from the person. Neurodivergent people are not “bad” or “dangerous” for needing regulation.

Why early intervention matters

Without early intervention, these misunderstood behaviours can become entrenched. What starts as impulsive blurting or self-soothing can spiral into compulsive patterns—and over time, into addiction-like cycles of secrecy, shame, and loss of control.

When children aren’t given the right education and support, they may grow up carrying shame, hiding their behaviour, and turning to sexual outlets for regulation in adulthood. This is how a regulating behaviour becomes a compulsive one—and eventually a full-blown struggle with compulsive sexual behaviour disorder or sexual addiction.

The good news? Early, compassionate intervention changes the story. When we teach children clear rules, provide safe alternatives, and reduce shame, we stop these behaviours from snowballing. We help adults break free from the cycle before it takes deeper root.