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Shame: Healing from Childhood Trauma, Reducing Carried Shame, and Finding Hope in Therapy

Updated: May 28


Childhood trauma can cast a long shadow, leaving survivors with deep emotional scars, including carried shame. In this blog post, we'll explore how therapy can help individuals recover from childhood trauma, reduce carried shame, and emphasize the importance of shame reduction work in the healing process.


Carrying the Shame of Abusers or Parents:

Children who experience trauma at the hands of caregivers or family members often internalize a sense of shame that doesn't belong to them. They may believe that they are somehow responsible for the abuse or that they deserved it


The Burden of Carried Shame:

Childhood trauma, which can encompass abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence, often leads survivors to carry a heavy burden of shame. This shame is not their own; it's the result of the abuse or neglect they endured. Carried shame can manifest in various ways:

  • Low Self-Esteem: Survivors may develop a chronic sense of worthlessness, feeling inherently flawed.

  • Self-Blame: Unjust self-blame for the trauma can persist, leading to guilt and feelings of responsibility.

  • Isolation: Fear of judgment and rejection may cause survivors to withdraw from social connections.

  • Emotional Dysregulation: Unprocessed trauma and carried shame can contribute to anxiety, depression, anger issues, and self-destructive behaviors.


Shame Reduction Work in Therapy:

Shame reduction work is a critical component of therapy for survivors of childhood trauma. Therapists employ various techniques to help individuals heal:

  • Identifying Shame Triggers: Therapists work with clients to identify specific situations or thoughts that trigger their shame responses.

  • Exploring Shame Narratives: Through open dialogue, clients can explore and deconstruct the narratives that contribute to their carried shame.

  • Self-Compassion: Therapists emphasize self-compassion, helping clients recognize that they deserve kindness and understanding, just like anyone else.

  • Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation: Practicing mindfulness helps clients become more aware of their emotions, which is crucial for regulating shame.

  • Reframing Negative Self-Beliefs: Techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) help clients challenge and replace negative self-beliefs with healthier, more realistic ones.

  • Empowerment and Resilience: Therapy aims to empower survivors with coping strategies and resilience-building tools to navigate life's challenges.


Childhood trauma can cast a long shadow, but therapy provides a path to healing and reducing carried shame. Through shame reduction work, survivors can regain control over their lives, break free from the chains of their past, and find hope for a brighter future. Healing is possible, and every survivor deserves the opportunity to embark on this journey toward self-compassion and inner strength. Remember, the strength to heal lies within, waiting to be uncovered and embraced.

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