Nobody is Coming

Attachment is a fundamental human need. As social creatures, we crave connection and intimacy with others. However, for many of us, our attachment needs have been compromised by childhood experiences of abandonment, neglect, or trauma. These experiences can lead to patterns of codependency and love addiction, where we seek out relationships in order to feel validated, loved, and rescued.

The truth is, no one is coming to save us.

The only person who can truly save us is ourselves. But how do we do this?

How do we move beyond our patterns of codependency and start taking care of our own needs?

The first step is to recognize that our attachment patterns are rooted in our childhood experiences. By understanding where our attachment wounds come from, we can start to develop compassion for ourselves and begin to heal those wounds.

The next step is to start taking responsibility for our own needs. This means learning to identify and express our own feelings, desires, and boundaries, rather than relying on others to fulfill them for us. It also means learning to prioritize our own self-care and well-being, rather than sacrificing ourselves for the sake of others.

For love addicts, this may mean learning to identify and avoid unhealthy relationships with emotionally unavailable partners. It may mean developing healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with stress and emotional pain, such as therapy, meditation, or exercise.

For love avoidants, it may mean learning to be more vulnerable and open in relationships, and taking responsibility for their own emotional needs rather than shutting down or pushing others away.

In a relationship where one partner is a love addict and the other is a love avoidant, both partners must take responsibility for their own needs and work to understand and support each other's attachment styles. This may involve therapy, open and honest communication, and a willingness to learn and grow together.

Ultimately, the key to breaking free from our patterns of codependency and love addiction is to recognize that we are the only ones who can save ourselves. By taking responsibility for our own needs and developing healthy coping mechanisms, we can create more fulfilling and satisfying relationships, both with ourselves and with others.